Enroute Healing & Discovery
IT’S TOUGH TO ADMIT TO YOURSELF
““I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”
”
This dates back to 2016.
At a feeble age of 21, when everyone wants to be full of life, my life was taking a toll over me. I was empty. There was a hollowness in my belly which I wasn’t able to fill. My deteriorating body was shouting for help. My soul wanted something to rescue it from all the pain.
Prayers, Friends or Food. Nothing was helping. I had something stuck in my throat that was emotionally choking me more and more.
It was not about others, it was about admitting to myself. Losing someone who is very close to you in flash of an eye is not easy to digest. I lost my boyfriend in a train accident. (Gosh, how long it took to me to admit this and put it up here). How am I supposed to behave normally? How am I supposed to put myself together? I wasn’t even able to realize that this was a reality because it was too painful to be true.
I was working at a Multinational Company at that time. It was enough to keep me busy. But, they could not ignore my red eyes, my loss of appetite and my silence. I was asked to quit, for good or worse. The only thing that kept me busy was gone too.
But, this was not the worst part. The worst part was the way everyone around me used to look at me after the incident. It was not a secret anyone, my heart was out there in open for people to play with it. Some showed sympathy, some questioned my character because “dating” is not a thing in small towns in India. And some had brutal tips to give me,
“ Move on, he is gone.”
But, My question was, “How?”
And nobody had an answer to that.
I was pretty clear that I need to leave before it’s too late.
My parents were well aware of what was going on with me. They were broken too. They were hurt to see me this way.
And, so they did not question my decision to leave for my first SOLO trip to the place that is in my heart, forever… McLeod Ganj, Mini Tibet of India. To fight with my nightmares, to cry out louder than ever and most importantly, to Heal.
Are you fighting an internal battle? Find some power in manifestation attached here.
